Heard there were police investigating a death at your home, I prayed for it not to be you. I left to work with trepidation, half breathing, walking lightly as if on rice paper so as not to disturb the balance of the cosmos. So as not to offend lest it may be true.
I didn’t want to hear.
Walking pass, voices echoed you died. I repeated, I pleaded in silence, please no. I stopped. Looking down at my phone, saw it through the glare of the midday. My heart and breathing decided to race. I descended the stairs into the subway, wanted to reach a monitor where I could see with my own eyes, hear with my own ears.
Diving into my office, turned on the computer, aloud I asked why over and over and over. Why?
As the news crystalized...they found you collapsed in an elevator.
My youth died yet again.
The rush of memories, words, music, dreams suppressed to continue on with life, inundated my sight, my surroundings. Play back. I entered a hologram of my youth I could not avoid and found myself mechanically going through the day.
Today, numb, contemplating what happened, wandering around where I’d go from here. How can I flee from time again? I buried my being inside your memory for today to commune with you. To thank you for making me happy, for making me cry, to give you space to enter my presence freely. I stopped today, stopped Earth's procession to see and feel you in my youth for the last time today.